Thursday, December 27, 2012
i just realised lz always bully me ):
he claims that he can only bully me when im 2353 miles away and he can't bear to bully me when im right beside him.
i cant comprehend.
it just felt like he hadnt change?
been bullying me since.. we met?
we're having potluck at his friend's place tmr.
international cuisine like literally,
will be flying a bottle of sambal over. lol.
4:49 PMlz hung up on me and didnt call back,
which after i had the worst sleep in months.
the sleep reminded me of those saturdays,
i was so scared and depressed.
turns out lz fell asleep,
and i was being paranoid.
and im so sleepy now,
and im at work,
and ive a plane to catch later,
and im still so depressed.
11:03 AMWednesday, December 26, 2012
sh tmr!
i never believed that absence makes heart fonder,
then lz prove me wrong yet again.
i miss lz so so so so much.
that poor boy is still sick ):
when i first met you, you didnt look like someone i would be with.
you're nothing like i asked for.
but you became everything i ever wanted.
5:00 PMMonday, December 24, 2012
happy xmas eve and its 3 FUCKING MORE DAYS to see lzboy! ((((:
天津
10:01 AMFriday, December 21, 2012
im still alive. (((:
what greet my doomsday morning was 6 texts from lz.
one reminding me that i've agreed to marry him if we all didnt die today,
and another 5 are pictures he took in 大连
poor boy has to fly another 2 more times bef i see him SIX FUCKING DAYS later.
i would be happy to globe-trot, but dont think flying is his thing. haaa
also, changchun in feb is cfm!
not looking forward to the 8 hrs transit at sh thou..
lz will be in changchun already, so prolly.. transit hotel beside the airport on chu er?
pathetic much. ):
((:
9:58 AMThursday, December 20, 2012
need to wake up my idea and quit being that shitty gf.
was complaining to wong that lz is on plane and i dont know where he's gg.
turns out lz told me at least 3 times? and i just didnt bother remembering.
kua...
):
5:26 PMONE MORE WEEK AND HERE I COME!
seems like i will be stuck with taking MU544's 0055 till, like forever.
and world please dont end tmr,
dont want to die yet,
and if i really die tmr,
im spending my last day as a human doing last min xmas shopping with ying.
KUA KUA.
i kinda like my independence now.
so yesterday i upset lz when i mentioned that whatever we're having now is great.. and i hope that things wont change, and that i should just stay in singapore and not shift there.
im quite worried,
its like, we're living our own life, and im cool like that.
what if i went over, and became demanding.
which i totally can be,
considering that i've no friends to keep me company and prolly uncapable of making own plans yet.
i told him all my concerns, and possible terrifying situations (trying to scare him as badly as possible),
and he's cool.
he said, 要在一起就是这样，有点小牺牲是难免的，可我非常愿意
我们不能一直分开，不是办法，有事情发生了怎么办？你病了，想照顾你都不行，很难过。。
i told him that we can decide again after jason shift over,
so at least i'll have 1 friend of my own.
he suggested that we can shift near jason's, maybe the same building or smth.
that can come later.
im totally on a adventure of no return. kuaaaa.
海南
12:32 PMWednesday, December 19, 2012
云南，昆明
11:10 AMTuesday, December 18, 2012
whatever youre doing now,
just cont' doing,
coz it just make me so happy.
i'm done thinking i don't deserve all these and you,
i'm done being skeptical and defensive,
i'm done building walls,
i just don't have to anymore.
thank you.
digression,
im doing at wedding references, lol
just in case.
just in case lz propose? HAHAHAHAHA
i won't want to get married next yr i think..
mm's wedding's in dec, and i don't think we should get married in the same yr.
maybe early 2015?
so europe trip next nov we can do pre-wed shoot.
EUROPE!
coz of stupid lzboy, my couchserve plan in sexy stranger's house have to shelf.
EUROPE EUROPE EUROPE!
one sided max. HAHAHAHA
((:
11:06 AMMonday, December 17, 2012
10 more fucking days. ((:
grey shirt that i've bought for silly boy over-worn. (((((:
2:21 PMSunday, December 16, 2012
i feel so happy now i think im okay with dying on 21st.
I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY AND IF ITS RAINING NOW, I WILL DASH OUT OF MY HOUSE AND DANCE IN THE RAIN. but because its not raining, so i shall talk about my happiness here.
lz really makes me happy everyday. EVERYDAY.
i love
how he enjoys my presence with his friends around,
how his friends adore my presence,
how he just wanna talk to me for 5 mins more when he's damn tired and ended up falling asleep before the 5 mins is up,
how he fall asleep with laptop on his chest and finger still on keyboard trying to type something,
how he has my picture on his lock screen,
how he actually speaks singlish now,
how he started liking starbucks hot chocolate,
how he always send me awkward pictures of himself everywhere he goes..
ah.. <3
see you in 11 days (:
3:44 AMFriday, December 14, 2012
bitch bf refused to acknowledge the date.
its the date on the dvd he made me what.
made lz bought me a toy yest.
i paid first, so he owe me 65 rmb now. hehe
3:19 PMThursday, December 13, 2012
what is happening to me?
i dig chocolate now.. and ice cream.. and waffles.. and all those shit i wouldnt even want to put into my mouth in the past.
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?
i blame my low calorie intake.
it must be the low sugar causing the cravings.
it must fucking be.
lzboy made me mad yesterday,
and as usual, i didnt bother fighting.
either the issue is damn stupid and that i shouldnt even be mad or i just couldn't be bothered.
why am i not bothered?
it must be my diet screwing up my mind.
still,
lzboy always makes effort to remedy any situation,
so matter how tired he was or how crappy the fight is about.
lzboy is wo san sheng xiu lai de fu,
or is it too early to tell, yet.
wong says im too skeptical, too damaged whenever i doubt lz's good intention.
just no boys should be this good, too good to be true.
i hope you're real.
12:16 PMWednesday, December 12, 2012
its twelve twelve twelve.
and we're all gonna die 9 days later.
i don't appreciate the notion of living to a ripe old age,
however, i don't want to die, yet.
too many unfinished businesses.
ive yet been to europe,
or see snow,
or own a chanel bag,
or grow taller,
or see mm get married,
or see myself get married,
or sky dive,
or earn 10k a month,
or tell lzboy that i love him.
10:41 AMTuesday, December 11, 2012
ad lz just done shooting. (:
1:50 PMFriday, December 07, 2012
wah this countdown is killing me.
20 days to go, to sh and mauritius!
will be flying to mauritius from sh w lzboy.
YAY!
i thought it will only be lonely flights, to and fro sh.
good to have lzboy's company for this 11.5hrs flight.
:)
i'll b flying back to sg alone thou...
ive no idea how i should go about packing luggage,
for both 0deg and 28deg in single trip.
noi got me a thick down feather jacket for xmas!
should be able to keep me alive for sh and changchun.
lzboy's house got robbed yest.
good to know he's safe,
and also good to know he's planning to shift to central area once i decide to shift over.
china.
seriously.
2:39 PMThursday, December 06, 2012
watched 志明与春娇2 at 1am last night,
jenson thinks that lz got dvd inspiration there.
got home too late last night and lz fell asleep, prolly tired from work and my 3 unreplied text.
texted him and he called back,
in sleepy voice, he said, just good to know youre home, good enough for me.
he's just sweet like that.
im still looking forward to sh, in 3 weeks.
looking forward to me running out arrival gates, to a beaming chinaboy, then mandatory airport hug swirl. :)
i should totally just shift there,
just quit weighing the pros and cons,
coz awesome stuff happens when i dont think.. at least for now it has been this way.
chnboy in denmark.
10:08 AMTuesday, December 04, 2012
the text that i can't send out,
the number that i can't dial,
why,
why now?
cant stop thinking of u.
6:11 PMhello,
its been awhile,
im still quite affected,
even thou i didnt think i will be.
there's so much i want to say,
but i guess i wont have a chance to, anymore.
goodbye.
10:23 AM